august 2011, april 2013.
i have had a lot of growing pains lately. i’ve been very frustrated — even though the rational part of my brain knows perfectly well that this transition will take longer than five months. … you spend a long time feeling like everything’s all wrong, but then when you do something about it, the wait starts over again. and so i do a lot of talking about how i feel like i’m not changing, not evolving, not getting comfortable in my skin. and every bit of that feeling is very real, and very hard to deal with sometimes.
but then i look at this. these were taken 20 months apart. and i see enough change to keep me going.
at my appointment yesterday, my therapist told me something profound. i’m not ready to talk about it yet because i would like time to reflect, but i am keeping her words close to me. In the meantime, i am trying to focus on mindfulness, on bringing my complete attention to myself as i am right now.
the growing pains aren’t over — but neither is the growing. and maybe i can try to be more accepting of the journey.
i have had a lot of growing pains lately. i’ve been very frustrated — even though the rational part of my brain knows perfectly well that this transition will take longer than five months. … you spend a long time feeling like everything’s all wrong, but then when you do something about it, the wait starts over again. and so i do a lot of talking about how i feel like i’m not changing, not evolving, not getting comfortable in my skin. and every bit of that feeling is very real, and very hard to deal with sometimes.
but then i look at this. these were taken 20 months apart. and i see enough change to keep me going.
at my appointment yesterday, my therapist told me something profound. i’m not ready to talk about it yet because i would like time to reflect, but i am keeping her words close to me. In the meantime, i am trying to focus on mindfulness, on bringing my complete attention to myself as i am right now.
the growing pains aren’t over — but neither is the growing. and maybe i can try to be more accepting of the journey.
(by the way, if anyone has advice or reassurance, especially from experience, please share. xo )